It is my first time to write a journal like this. I've just get inspired with my flatmate who like to publish her writing in her blog, which is shared with some of her close friends from church. I think it is such a good idea, to share experience and thought with others. It is because you can encourage and strengthen each other by your story and opinion, of course the content must be presented in a good manner. Secondly, based on the subject that I am currently taking, Knowledge management, knowledge sharing is a powerful way of leveraging effiency. Anyway, my purpose is not to give you lecture about knowledge management hehe.. just want to share my thought these last couple weeks.
Probably some of you know that this is my last semester in my study period, and I have to go back to my home country after I finish my study in Sydney. At the moment I feel sad, scare mix with excitement to reunite with my family. I still remembered in the first and second semester of my uni, every day I wished I could finish and graduate quicker than it supposed to be. I envied with my friends, who have already completed their study and return to Indonesia. But now, I wish I could stay longer here rather than go back. It is funny, isn't it ?
Finally, I realised What's going on exactly ? Why I am so vulnerable changing my mind ? I think it is the matter of the comfortable. In the first semester of my study, I was struggling a lot. It is due to it was my first time come to foreign country to study. Still new with the environment especially with the academic culture then no family, no close friends who can to talk with, feel alone and cheerless. Then in the second semester was the hardest in my study period, which required me to take full credits. Haven't really emotionally settled with the environment yet, I had to face another challenge. It was really hard for me at that time to handle all of the subjects which I took. Sometimes, I thought why should I suffer so much, while before I came to Sydney, I already have had a good job, pretty good pay and really want to go home directly, and don't want to continue my study anymore. In short, I have passed all of them. Finally, I am in my last semester, which my wish will soon come true. getting closer to graduate, getting closer to go back home. but guess what, I don't feel happy at all thinking I have to return to where I am from. 'coz I've already adapted the situation here well, have lot of friends, have a parttime job which related to my field of study and more importantly I've also got used to the academic culture here. Conversely, I feel scared to return to Indonesia, thinking that I have to find a new job, start from the beginning again, face a messy, polluted and traffic jam atmosphere, and even one of the bomb blast target by terorists.
In this confusing situation, I introspect myself and looked back What I've been through. Compare what I am now with before I came to Sydney, including my attitude, spiritual life, way of thinking, knowledge and level of maturity. I've changed a lot and learnt a lot, I am a different person, of course better than before. I draw a conclusion that people are reluctant to love struggle and difficulties, they prefer to live comfortably, like I was going through. hate to live in sydney at first, but when I've settled everything down, I don't want to leave Sydney anymore. because I already feel more comfortable with living in Sydney rather than go back.
I must admit during my struggling time, I was forced to survive, which in turn give me more strength and more spiritual growth. If I looked back again, I was amazed and really thank you to God that He gave me such an opportunity to suffer so I can grow as I am now. What if I didn't get the opportunity to study here, probably I am still surround with my narrow thought, never grow bigger like bonsai. In James 1:3-4 says "because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything".
After all getting so many blessings and kindness from God, I must accept that I have to return to Indonesia. In anything, God has a perfect plan for us. I realised that I have to accept another challenge to keep my faith growing. I am not saying that we need to make ourselves in trouble in order to grow, but if we are facing such challenging situation we need to accept it and keep perseverance in God. Ultimately, it will strengthen us if we pass through it. and always remember 1 Cor 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Finally, I also want to give a big Thanks to my beloved older brother, who keep encourage and motivate me during my hard time while I were studying in Sydney. Edwin, Christine and other church and bible study fellows, colleagues, my flatmate who also have given me courage during my difficult circumstances.
"Decay starts when growth stops", Anon.
Probably some of you know that this is my last semester in my study period, and I have to go back to my home country after I finish my study in Sydney. At the moment I feel sad, scare mix with excitement to reunite with my family. I still remembered in the first and second semester of my uni, every day I wished I could finish and graduate quicker than it supposed to be. I envied with my friends, who have already completed their study and return to Indonesia. But now, I wish I could stay longer here rather than go back. It is funny, isn't it ?
Finally, I realised What's going on exactly ? Why I am so vulnerable changing my mind ? I think it is the matter of the comfortable. In the first semester of my study, I was struggling a lot. It is due to it was my first time come to foreign country to study. Still new with the environment especially with the academic culture then no family, no close friends who can to talk with, feel alone and cheerless. Then in the second semester was the hardest in my study period, which required me to take full credits. Haven't really emotionally settled with the environment yet, I had to face another challenge. It was really hard for me at that time to handle all of the subjects which I took. Sometimes, I thought why should I suffer so much, while before I came to Sydney, I already have had a good job, pretty good pay and really want to go home directly, and don't want to continue my study anymore. In short, I have passed all of them. Finally, I am in my last semester, which my wish will soon come true. getting closer to graduate, getting closer to go back home. but guess what, I don't feel happy at all thinking I have to return to where I am from. 'coz I've already adapted the situation here well, have lot of friends, have a parttime job which related to my field of study and more importantly I've also got used to the academic culture here. Conversely, I feel scared to return to Indonesia, thinking that I have to find a new job, start from the beginning again, face a messy, polluted and traffic jam atmosphere, and even one of the bomb blast target by terorists.
In this confusing situation, I introspect myself and looked back What I've been through. Compare what I am now with before I came to Sydney, including my attitude, spiritual life, way of thinking, knowledge and level of maturity. I've changed a lot and learnt a lot, I am a different person, of course better than before. I draw a conclusion that people are reluctant to love struggle and difficulties, they prefer to live comfortably, like I was going through. hate to live in sydney at first, but when I've settled everything down, I don't want to leave Sydney anymore. because I already feel more comfortable with living in Sydney rather than go back.
I must admit during my struggling time, I was forced to survive, which in turn give me more strength and more spiritual growth. If I looked back again, I was amazed and really thank you to God that He gave me such an opportunity to suffer so I can grow as I am now. What if I didn't get the opportunity to study here, probably I am still surround with my narrow thought, never grow bigger like bonsai. In James 1:3-4 says "because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything".
After all getting so many blessings and kindness from God, I must accept that I have to return to Indonesia. In anything, God has a perfect plan for us. I realised that I have to accept another challenge to keep my faith growing. I am not saying that we need to make ourselves in trouble in order to grow, but if we are facing such challenging situation we need to accept it and keep perseverance in God. Ultimately, it will strengthen us if we pass through it. and always remember 1 Cor 10:13 "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
Finally, I also want to give a big Thanks to my beloved older brother, who keep encourage and motivate me during my hard time while I were studying in Sydney. Edwin, Christine and other church and bible study fellows, colleagues, my flatmate who also have given me courage during my difficult circumstances.
"Decay starts when growth stops", Anon.
1 comment:
Yuhuuuu .. I find it .. keep updating it yah .. :)
Post a Comment