SPA outing: Ayer Island 16-17 May 2009.

Enhancing relationships - some wise words.

I got it from a mailing list, I thought these words are worthed to be shared because it is very inspirational.. enjoy to read..

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed..

PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

Professional Looks.

This picture was taken we were going to have a proposal presentation for a potential clients. All of us looked so formal.. :)

When I (God) say that I love you (human being)....

lyric by Franky Sihombing

You feel that you're lonely
It doesn't prove that you are alone
You feel that nobody want you
It doesn't mean that no one cares about you

Reff:
Listen to the words I say
that I will always by your side
You mean everything to me
that I will never leave you
cause I love you so

If you think that you're nothing
but for Me you are something beautiful
You think you can't do anything
but you can do a lot of things with me

When I say that I love you
It's mean I give the best for you
When I say that I love you
I will give everything for you

No more fear about the future
and blame for the past
I'll give everthing when I say that I love you
I want you to know that I died for you
I want you to know that I'll give all My life for you
When I say that I love.. say that I love you
When I say that I love you, I really do.

John 15:13 "Greater love has no one than this, that He lay down His life for His friends."

What would you do, if you know your time won't be long..

During the Christmas and New year holiday, I finally have time to spend my time to read for pleasure again. By coincidence the two books that I read this time related to death. One of them is a fiction another one is real story. Having read both of them, I come to realise that we have to appreciate every minutes and every second in this life. Life is so short, instead of complaining, why don't we focus on thing that we can do to fulfil our dreams. The following is the title and short description of the book:

• Ways to live forever. This book was written by a young talented author Sally Nicholls. She was just 23 when she wrote the book. The book describes an 11 years old boy, who may not make his dream come true because he would die by lymphoblastic leukemia. With the encouragement of his tutor, he starts to write a bit about himself, then more, until he is using his writing to sort out his death.

• The last lecture (Real Story). A lot of professors give talks titled The Last Lecture. Professors are asked to consider their demise and to ruminate on what matters most to them: What wisdom would we impart to the world if we knew it was our last chance? If we had to vanish tomorrow, what would we want as our legacy? When Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, was asked to give such a lecture, he didn't have to imagine it as his last, since he had recently been diagnosed with terminal cancer. What would a dying person give in a lecture? suprisingly Randy did not talk about his health condition and his family struggles to cope with the situation, instead he talked about how to achieve childhood dreams, overcoming obstacles, enabling dreams of others, and seizing every moment (because time is all you have and you may find one day that you have less than you think). It was a summation of everything Randy had come to believe. It was about living. This lecture recorded as one of the most inspiring lecture ever.

Something that worthwhile to read and think about.

I got the following illustration from my philiphino friend. I think it might be useful to share with others. I hope someone read this and realise that what the most important thing in this world and do not take it for granted again in the future. Something that good to start with in the 2009.

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things---God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff. 'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you

'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit with grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

The Rain - by Thomas Kinkaid.

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town, taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick. Suddenly, my daughter, Aspen, spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat. "Dad, I'm thinking of something."

This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while, and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old mind had discovered. I was eager to hear.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.
"The rain!" she began, "is like sin, and the windshield wipers are like God wiping our sins away."

After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond. "That's really good, Aspen."

Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation? So I asked... "Do you notice how the rainkeeps on coming? What does that tell you?" Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer:
"We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us." I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on. Isn't it distressing to know that when you forward this message you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it to them.

Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.

In order to see the Rainbow, you must first endure some Rain.

READ THE FIRST LINE CAREFULLY.
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Happy moments, praise God.

Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

1 Peter 3:18 "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God. He was put to death in the body but made alive by the Spirit".

May the spirit of first christmas is always kept in our heart.

Ebenezer.

That day was Friday. I was so stressed with everything on my shoulders. Fortunately I woke up in that morning, I read a passage from our daily bread booklet with a title "Ebenezer". The term is derived from 1 Samuel 7:12 which means "The stone of help - thus far has the Lord helped us". Yeah sometimes we may easy to get weary, and forget that so far God always look after us.. Nothing are missed from God's eyes. Hence, believe and put your burden and hope on Him. Happy Christmas !

Take a break is required.

These few weeks I am very exhausted, having so many things that need to manage inside and outside the office in the same time. Sometimes I felt being as Marta in the bible story.. Put so many concern at the daily routine, work and other business and forget the most important part.. hmm you know the answer.

I need to put my focus back in to the right track. Habit 3 - Put first things first.

Perspective.

A few days ago I read a reflection begin with a question: When is a bird bigger than a mountain? The first word that come into my mind was impossible, whatever kind of birds will never bigger than a mountain. Then I read through the article and found out the answer: When the bird is closer than the mountain. Hmm, the answer is truely correct. I never thought about it this before. That's also the way we see our problem. Sometimes we perceive our problem is bigger than anything even bigger than God. It is because we are closer to the problem than God. As such times, God seems as far away as a distant mountain, an we perceive Him as being small and unreachable.

Surely God is always there and give us strength to face our struggle, as He promises to "gives strength to the weary, and young men stumble and fall" (Isaiah 40:29). Just as a bird is never bigger than a mountain, no problem is ever bigger than God. It's all a matter of changing our perspective.

New Managers Conference, Bali.

All in One

Team Work n Fun

Gala Dinner

Mejeng ria..

Mulailah percaya. (Believe).

Rasa khawatir adalah pedang bermata dua. Rasa khawatir bukan saja tidak dapat memberi nilai tambah bagi hidup Anda, tetapi juga melenyapkan banyak hal dalam hidup Anda :

· Kesehatan – rasa khawatir menuntun pada ketegangan, yang merusak fisik Anda.

· Waktu – waktu yang Anda habiskan untuk menghawatirkan sesuatu itu memakan waktu yang seharusnya Anda gunakan untuk melakukan hal-hal lain.

· Produktivitas – pada saat Anda mengurangi waktu yang digunakan untuk melakukan hal-hal yang perlu, mak produktivitas Anda menurun

· Iman – Anda tidak dapat memiliki rasa khawatir dan memiliki iman pada saat yang bersamaan.

Satu-satunya jalan untuk memberi nilai tambah dalam hidup Anda adalah dengan berhenti khawatir dan Percaya.

Not my will, but Your will.

It was approximately three months ago, I felt so confident that's would come true. One step by step seemed went so smooth as I expected. However, suddenly it stopped and no continuance of progress. Part of it was my mistakes, I was so get into it, and put almost my whole energy and focus to the "project". It made me so disappointed, which then continued affect my mind performance. As a result, I become reckless in some perspectives, which end up with losing my wallet.

I was so desperate, why everything turning upside down. I was not only losing my wallet, but everything such as my ID card, driving license, ATM card and Credit card. What made me so mad was the next three day I had to go out of town in order to attend a conference in Bali. Felt really hopeless. I tried to calm down and figured out what to do. I called bank call centre to block out all of credit cards and ATM card. Then re-issued my ID card and ATM on the next day. After a bit relief, three days later when I was ready to go to airport get caught in the traffic jam, which made me late for my flight. I was really nuts. Everything seemed so wrong. Nevertheles, I could take the next flight. After the conference over, I get my driving license re-issued. Then one by one was recovered.

This occasion made me remembered one of the sermon during our fellowship service. The Evangelist said, "Whenever we want to go out from our home in this city, we never forget to bring our wallet. However, do we remember to pray and ask God protection ?". It seems that we put our faith more in our wallet and everything in it when we want to go around the city rather than God. And It is also made me realised, that everything I did, God who has the authorisation to make it success or failure. Whatever He allows to happen are for our own good. Maybe the project was not meant to be for me, it failed so I can realise my limited capabilities and have more a reliance on God rather than my own strength. After all God is greater than everything.

"Lord, give me the courage to change the things which can and ought to be changed, the serenity to accept the things which cannot be changed, and the wisdom to know the difference". - Alcoholics Anonymous Prayer.

Carry your own weather.

Having been trained on 7 habits for highly effective people about one month ago. These 7 habits can only be applied if we succeed to apply the first habit and go on to the next habit. If we cannot apply the first habit then we cannot go on to the second habit and so on. The most basic habit is be proactive. Proactive is more than having initiative. Be proactive means take responsibility on our attitude (in the past, present and future), and can make a choice based on principles rather than our mood or feeling or condition.

Based on the definition above, being angry, stress, happy or sad is a choice. We determine our circumstance. I think this principle is really true indeed. However, somehow it is really difficult to be applied. What do you think ?

SPA families and friends BBQ - 2 Aug 2008.

The settings

Tukang makannya Tukang masaknya

The latest participants

Share The Secret. (by Anon)

One day, one friend asked another, "how is that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down." With her eyes smiling, she said, "I know the secret!" "What secret is that?" To which she replied "I'll tell you about it, but you have to promise to share the secret with others." "The secret is this: I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to His riches. I have learned most of the time I don't need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy."

The questioner's first thought was, "That's too simple!" But upon reflecting over her own life she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy, but it didn't! She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn't. When did she realise her greatest happiness? Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, or other children, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.

Now you know it too! We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only God in His infinite wisdom can do that. Trust Him! and now I pass the secret on to you! So once you get it, what will you do?

You have to tell someone the secret too! That God in His wisdom will take care of YOU! But it's not really a secret.. We just have to believe it and do it... Really trust God!

During trial circumstances.

2 Cor 12: 9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

James 1:3-4 - "because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything".

1 Cor 10:13 - "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."

1 Peter 1:6-7 - "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed".

We Need Each Other: To Walk With. (by Rick warren)

Received the following reflection from an email.. just felt it is good to be shared.. and realised that the advantage of having community.

Just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, so walk in Him. Colossians 2:6 (NIV/NKJV)
*** *** *** ***
The Bible often compares life to a walk, because life is a journey; we’re not sitting still. Throughout the New Testament, we are told to walk in wisdom, love, light, and obedience. We’re told to walk as Jesus walked. We’re also told to walk alongside other people. Here are three reasons to walk with other people:

1. It’s safer. Have you ever walked alone at night through a dark alley or down a lonely country road? It’s a little scary. But if you have another person with you, you immediately feel safer.
2. It’s supportive. Life is not a fifty-yard dash; it’s a marathon. Walking with other people gives you the energy to keep on going until the end.
3. It’s smarter. You learn more by walking with others than by walking alone. If you’re walking alone in the wrong direction, you may never realize it. But if you have a friend alongside you, one of you is likely to recognize you’ve veered off the path and need to find the right direction.

We also learn some important lessons when we walk alongside other people. We learn how to get along with others, how to cooperate. We also learn how to love. Genesis 2:18 tells us, “It is not good for the man to be alone” (NIV). God hates loneliness, and community is God’s answer to loneliness. When we walk alongside other people, we find a community where we learn how to love.

Walking alongside other people also teaches us hospitality. 1 Peter 4:9 says, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (NIV). What’s your grumble? What’s your excuse for not opening your home to friends? Maybe you’ve said, “My home is dirty!” Well, clean it up! Or perhaps your excuse is: “My home isn’t big enough.” Can you put three people in it? Jesus says, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them” (Matthew 18:20 NIV).

Everybody has a longing for belonging because God made us for relationships. When we walk alongside other Christians in community, we find that longing satisfied.

SPA Outing 2008 - Bangka Belitung.

Old and New of the firm's financial year.

This July our office began new financial year 2008/2009. The subsequent event before the new financial year, there always a promotion and bonus performance announcement. This year was also a blessing for me. I was promoted to a manager. Even so I felt very frustated these days.

Like I have shared before that the past few months I was so stress out with my last project, even until now it hasn't fully closed yet. It took so much of my energy, physically and mentally. The coming year I can foresee that the next coming year would be much more demanding, I don't know whether I am ready with the situation.

At one moment, I had a thought to submit resignation letter. Even a few weeks after the promotion. While thinking what decision that need to make:

• Daniel shared with me for his financial struggles after his marriage. In every move God has guided him and sufficiently look after his needs so He never lack of anything.
• I read through my blog archive, I could see that God has so faithful and never let me down. He looked after me during my post grad study until I could finish it smoothly, looking for job, CISA exam, helped me to let go "thing" and many many more.
• Just realised that in every situations that was me who made everything were so stressful, me who always want to solve everything by my own. No wonder I felt so much pressure.
• I had a sharing with some church friends. Listened to their stories and struggles, after all my situation is much better than them.

Eventually I realised the problem is on myself, always feel so over confident and rely on my own strength. Resignation maybe a shortterm solution, but who can guarantee that I would not face the same situation in other workplace.. Hence, at the moment I would stay at where I am, do my best and keep in faith that He will never fail us.

Psalm 23

1 The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.
2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters,
3 he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you arewith me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
6 Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.